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End destructive labeling

I was reading a tweet by @cherin_awad the other day, and it made me upset. And it got me thinking. About stereotypes and prejudice. And how harmful they can be.

The tweet was about a comment during an interview. During this interview, about strategies fighting drug traffic, O’Reilly expresses his belief that the man he is interviewing “look like a cocaine dealer”. Yeah, right…

This comment is rude, insulting, uncalled for, unnecessary, unhelpful, thoughtless, irresponsible and even destructive.

I believe in freedom of ideas, and expressing your beliefs, however flawed they might be. But a media platform should always be used responsibly.

I strongly believe that our thinking is greatly impacted by what we express and by what we listen to. I also believe that our choice of actions are greatly impacted by how other people see us, and how we see ourselves. So when O’Reilly reinforce his stereotype of a drug dealer, judging the appearance of this man, it confirms that stereotype in the thinking of others, and builds the grounds for unjust treatment. And that is serious.

The impact of one such statement may be small, but the common impact of all of us being more careful not to judge based on appearances and stereotypes, can certainly have a worth while impact on our society.

There may be a difference between saying someone looks like a drug dealer, and thinking of, or treating that person differently because of it. However, one often come accompanied by the other. Having people throw negative labels on you, based only on your outward appearance, could be very damaging for you, both psychologically and because it so often comes accompanied by unjust treatment.

Having people give you the benefit of the doubt, on the other hand, can very well be life changing for a person in a difficult junction in life.

Martin Luther King Jr. said:

I have a dream that my four little children will one day live in a nation where they will not be judged by the color of their skin but by the content of their character.

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A short clip from the interview can be found here. 

Who cares?

I do a lot of thinking these days about what really matter, and how I can be relevant and make a difference in the society of today. I see an unfortunate gap between what people need and what most churches offer for example. I’m not saying it’s all bad, just that more can be done. There is just so much injustice in this world. More than ever?

Who are standing up for those in need these days?

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By the way, I’d love to her some good examples of what is being done. What is your view of the most urgen causes to deal with now? Who are doing a good job, right now, to change this world for the better?

Failure

If at first you don’t succeed…

If you ever tried to change your life (as I suggested in my previous post) you have probably failed. Not that failure is inevitable. Failure is just very likely. So, in order to be successful, it’s important to be able to deal with failure.

I don’t think failure is necessary for learning, as some people seem to think.
I strongly believe we learn well also from our occasional success. Trying however, is necessary for learning. And when we try, we often fail. And when we fail, we might as well use that situation to learn. But in my opinion we learn from the result of trying, rather from our failures. There is a difference.

We must not let fear of failure stop us from trying again.

And when we fail we must not let our failure steal our hope away.

One thing to learn (especially true if you’re a perfectionist), is that many small improvements are better than nothing. Much better in fact. It does not matter so much if you did not make it all the way, as long as you are heading in the right direction. Give yourself a break. Laugh a little. Go again.

Don’t give up.

The most successful people are also those who fail the most. They fail more, because they keep on trying. But only those who never try are guarantied… to achieve nothing.

So when you fail (again), don’t lose heart. You’re not alone. Just make sure you don’t stay there. Try again. Find another route. Move on.

Samuel Beckett said it well: 

All of old. Nothing else ever.
Ever tried. Ever failed. No matter.
Try again. Fail again. Fail better.

Change

So, you’re not happy with your life? Well, change it!

How? you say.

You may not be able to change all the circumstances around you, although when you think about it you can probably change some of that too. But what you can always do, is work on your attitude.

Hold on a sec. I’m not the guy telling you that it’s all your own fault, or that it’s not a big deal. But I am telling you that you can change what happens from now on. Maybe not all by yourselves, but what you do is key.

It starts with how you see your situation.

Recently I heard someone say something like this: If it bothers you that you have a problem, then you have two problems. That may not quite add up, but that logical somersault could unlock your mind to realize that if you want things to change, it starts with you.

I don’t believe you can change reality by positive thinking, or even by faith. Reality is what it is. But reality may be better than many of us dare to believe. How would you know? How would you know, if you don’t try to think differently?

I tell you this: Things can change for the better.

Today, go do something about it.